Just to celebrate the acquisition of YouTube by Google, here's a nice little video for you:

Ouch!

Need a break from the stresses and strains of road transport? Who doesn’t? Well there’s no better way to take five than by visiting the weird and wonderful world of our sister site Biglorryblog — the daily blog that comes with its own delightful drizzle of diesel and is written by Commercial Motor Editor-in-Chief Brian Weatherley. To get all the latest stories from the seriously sublime to the barking-mad ridiculous like the world’s biggest semi-truck...

...non-PC truck ads from Australia...

...and talking HGV seatbelts, then check out Biglorryblog.

Hot off the presses from the Highways Agency comes news of the latest weapon in its armoury to keep the country's roads free-flowing and congestion free.

Is it a sophisticated traffic management system? Some sort of mega-computer coupled with a huge satellite and a big array of blinking lights? More traffic officers in funky-coloured 4x4s? Nope, it's a big magnet.

The magnet in question is attached to a road sweeper and it has been used to clear debris from several roads in the south east - the M4, M3 and A34.

According to the press release it has picked up nails, spanners, wheel nuts, scaffold clips and money over the last 18 months.

In fact given that the total weight of the metal collected so far is some three tonnes you can't help but wonder if there is small family car stuck to the magnet somewhere, its occupants wondering if they will be allowed out any time soon.

Last week Commercial Motor engaged in an unusual test for its Christmas issue. We decided to pit a man (CM's technical writer Julian Milnes) in a satnav-equipped Citroen Berlingo against the navigational ability of an ex-cycle courier in a multi-drop race across London.

Commercial Motor business editor Tim Maughan had an unusual view of London when he accompanied the star to the top of Trafalgar Square's Christmas tree. It was the culmination of a four-day journey that saw Tim witness the felling of the 21 metre tree, a gift from the people of Norway, and accompany its journey to London. This year marks the 60th anniversary of the tradition. You can read the full story in the bumper Christmas issue of CM on sale on 21 December.

PS No more fairy jokes, thank you.

"Mate, is that a runaway truck heading towards us?" says one.

"Why yes, Homer it is," replies the other. "We'd better move."

Yes, a remote control truck careers out of control, but it takes the watching journalists a couple of seconds to realise what is going on. Nothing new there then.

Talk about a controlled test environment, and that net don’t look as though it’ll hold the truck either. Them slipshod Americans…you gotta love ‘em!

...or is it the driving?

Portland, Oregon, earlier this week.

Horrific winds yesterday [18 Jan 2007] caused death and destruction. Travelling home from London to Kendal was risky but the conditions, and fearful updates by Five Live, helped turn everyone into model drivers.
It took three hours of stop/start traffic to reach the M40 from J8 of the M25. Dartford Bridge and sections of the M25 near Lakeside shopping centre were closed. Bob, revealed Five Live presenter Peter Allen, had been stuck on the M56 for two hours and needed a pee. What was the etiquette of urinating in stationary traffic?

Dorset County Council planning committee convened in the early hours to tend a motion put forward by Containers‘R’Us to turn Lyme Regis into a container port.
The motion, put forward as a possible solution to salvaging the wreck, as well as an employment opportunity, was denied by five votes to four in a heated debate. Councillors felt that the current restoration of Lyme Regis, to stop it falling into the sea, was too far advanced to call a halt.

Planning committee yesterday in action
Plus the current route across the sea front isn’t designed for heavy goods vehicles and the 45% descent from the Seaton Road car park didn’t have a suitable café for trucks to stop.
A spokesperson from Containers‘R’Us said the decision was “extremely short-sighted”.

There was a time when people, seeking unison and consequence, would meet in a common place, say the pub or at work, and conversed forming attachments based on common ground, ambition or sheer stimulation.
Perhaps it’s sad the motor industry has gone the way of youth culture, not to mention the singleton generation who believe live starts at 40, and staged a bypass to all that flannel and rubbish that people do when seeking said ‘unison and consequence’.
Yes, my friends, speed dating has arrived. This time it was the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders acting as the dating agency, manufacturers taking the role of single ladies looking for a suitable match, and the journalists as sad, desperate men trying to take any short cut they can to get…‘unison and consequence’.
All sounds a bit sceptical? Don’t you believe it; one day spent talking to the industry saved this journalist endless calls, surfing and research trying to put together a hastily commissioned CV Show preview.

As we enter the second week in February, there are plenty of hazards you might expect to encounter while crossing the Horseshoe Pass in North Wales. Snow, black ice or mist maybe, but probably the last thing you'ld expect when all the surrounding hills are still white from yesterday morning's hard frost is a grass fire, but this was the pass yesterday afternoon.

Okay, okay, I know - Captain Oates made his fateful walk near the South Pole, but his brand of stoicism lives on in the (some say unlikely) form of Commercial Motor technical writer Julian Milnes. Julian, who spends far more time worrying about being cool than being cold, has been packed off to northern Finland to take part on a pan-European group test. Here's his report so far:

So it seems you've had some snow in England. And as usual things have come to a standstill as mass panic ensues and the Government relaxes in the knowledge that whatever they're selling for cash this week will be hidden under the weather-based headlines. But let's get some perspective here. Having been in Finland for the last few days on CM's 'Arctic Van Test' I've noticed that despite temperatures that reach -38C and a blanket of white stuff pretty much everywhere, the country seems to get on with life as if it's just another day. And the vans have to keep pace without complaint as well.

There I was, reading one of those Charles Dickens paperbacks when I was a lad, when I came across the word "munificent". A quick glance at the dictionary, and I learnt that the word meant "splendidly generous". I never thought that I could use the term, and genuinely mean it about any living person, truck, or organisation. But things changed when Hiab whisked CM across the North, and Baltic Sea, to inspect their Multilift factory.

We had a quick trawl on YouTube the other day for DHL, as we'd been promised video heaven in the form of one of its slightly strange Korean ads.
However, what we found was even better...

Yesterday morning, on my way to a meeting at GM’s Millbrook test facility, I popped into Toddington Services for a full English. Walking in, dribbling at the thought of bacon, eggs, fried bread and black pudding, I noticed a ‘Spare Tyre Check’, and made the mistake of investigating. It was a free driver check-up, inspired by Commercial Motor’s Health Check campaign, and aimed squarely at truck drivers.
“The idea behind the spare tyre check,” explains independent nurse and organiser Jane DeVille-Almond, “is to see how many drivers have metabolic syndrome.” This apparently means seeing if drivers have dangerously high cholesterol, blood sugar levels, blood pressure and waist measurements. If the results are bad in three out of four, than there’s a good chance you’re going to suffer from Type Two diabetes. In fact, during the last couple of months of offering this free check-up at Moto service stations, she has discovered that 17% of drivers do have it. This really wasn’t what I wanted to hear while waiting for my results.
But luckily I got the all-clear – well kind of. My cholesterol, blood pressure and blood/sugar are all fine, but apparently I’m fat! Needless to say this came as a total shock to me.
Jane has had to break this news to quite a few drivers over the past few months, some of which were even bigger than me! She always asks people to guess their waist measurement before she measures it, and rarely does anyone get it right. I underestimated it by 2 inches, but apparently some bloke was 19 inches out! Presumably his wife must buy his trousers for him.
Jane’s Spare Tyre Checks come to an end on July 17, which I think is a terrible shame. She is keen to carry on, but without funding it’s not going to be feasible. So, anybody out there think they can help out? Maybe even lend her a van so that she can take her valuable service to all of the UK’s truck stops? If so please email her on deville.almond@virgin.net
In the end I decided to skip breakfast yesterday.

Caption 1: MT’s fat technical editor gets his pulse checked.

Caption 2: This is what human fat looks like. I'm not going to tell you how many of these I'm carrying around with me.

...was the only thing I didn't see on the journey down, but in the space of six hours travelling from Kendal to London I did spot the following;
• National Express coach in the third lane on the M6 near Manchester
• Six trucks nose to tail [about a yard between each] crossing the Thelwall Viaduct
• Driver of a Cherokee Jeep flashing motorists in front to move out of the third lane to allow him to pass – only one of dozens targeted actually moved over
• A female driver, complete with glasses, joining the M6 at J13, speeding to the outside lane, tailgating a Golf, then cutting across three lanes of motorway to get off at J12. It was a red Vauxhall Corsa, for the record
• Four cars parked in disabled zones without disabled stickers; two were Mercedes E-Class with private number plates at Norton Canes on the M6 Toll
• ESSO garage at Cherwell Valley on the M40 charging [minimum 50p vend] for water for the van’s windscreen washers
• Two Transit minibuses towing trailers loaded up with canoes doing 90mph in the third lane of the M40
• No one adhering to the 40 or 50mph restriction placed on traffic on the M25 between the M40 and A3
• Three foreign trucks and British cars parked up on the hard shoulder of the M25 [clockwise] following a ‘meeting of metal’ with each car driver concerned on the blower
• A taxi driver carving up traffic in order to get its fare to the airport [Gatwick] on time
• Countless middle lane huggers on the M6, M6 Toll, M42, M40 and M25, refusing to move over despite failing to match the national speed and the vehicles staked up behind
• Plenty of undertaking on the motorway system with drivers using the middle lane before re-entering the third lane two vehicles further up the queue. Out of many drivers who tried to undertake only two actually failed to move up the third lane queue

Apart from that the journey was top notch.

Step aside "Not The Nine O'Clock News", there is a new song [at last] in town.
Thanks to tipper-driver01 from TruckNet UK who found it...

Truck Drivin Song by Weird Al Yankovic

We don't usually do much plugging of charity fundraisers here (though perhaps we should - let me know), but I couldn't resist this one - it's my Dad.

Nobby Clark, who is 74 (sorry to mention that, Dad, but there you go) will be abseiling down the tallest building in Bristol next Saturday, in aid of The Stroke Association. It's a fine charity, and Nobby is looking for as much sponsorship as he can get. Oh yes, and he's never abseiled before...

So here's the deal: the company which gives the most sponsorship gets Nobby to wear their logo or name while he's abseiling down the 175ft Premier Travel Inn (as long as they can rustle up a suitable item of clothing - a large T-shirt is preferred). Better still, they will get a picture (maybe even a video) and their very own entry here on the Road Transport blog - and I'll twist Brian Weatherley's arm to feature you on BigLorryBlog too.

RoadTransport.com has already put £100 in, so you'll have to beat that. If you're interested, email me or go straight to Nobby's fundraising page.

Ah, you ask, but is there a road transport link (apart from me)? Of course there is! Nobby is a retired civil engineer, who worked on various projects we all know and love, including the M5, the M40, the Humber Bridges and, er, the M25.

Some of us just haven’t got a clue. Gary Megson, Bolton Wanderers boss, was looking for sympathy as the much maligned transfer window system was brought up. The BBC reported this response: “If a haulage company wanted a new lorry,” he moaned, “and someone said in September you cannot have one until January, it would not be allowed."
That’s right mate, you'd have to wait until the summer.

Gary Megson, yesterday, has to wait for a new lorry.

The TruckNet UK Xmas party

Recipe for a great night out:

Take one hotel, add a large number of drivers and truck owners, a sprinkling of booze and a quantity of items for auction, mix for a few hours and you get the annual TruckNet UK Christmas party.

In the best tradition of drivers, we all turn up a month or so late for the festive get together, on the 2nd of Feb this year the event was hosted at the Longford House hotel in Cannock.The party is a very informal event, with attendees arriving from all over the country. During the course of the evening alcohol has been known to be taken by some of those there, helped by a generous tab behind the bar provided by RBI.

This years event was supported by DAF,Scania, Iveco and Volvo, with those manufacturers providing an amazing display of items to be sold in the fun charity auction. In fact so many items were kindly donated we don't think anyone left the hotel empty-handed, or without being relieved of some of their cash. Thanks to the sponsors a great total of £700 was raised which this year wll be going to the Motor Industry and Allied Trades benevolent fund (BEN).

But the night is not all about raising money, users of the TruckNet UK interactive forums get to meet face to face those they have been having discussions with all year, surprisingly, despite being a meeting of the industry, trucks and trucking didn't seem to be the dominant discussions. With the ladies especially debating more on the merits of ordering more profiteroles and commenting on the attire of 2 Scotsmen dressed in traditional regalia.

Every year the event draws in more and more people, and already plans are being made to attend next year. If you enjoy a good night out. book a date in your diary for early 2009 when once again we will be celebrating the festive season late.

Key to Lewis Hamilton victory holds lesson for road hauliers, says RHA

Telematics was key to Lewis Hamilton winning the Formula 1 World Championship on Sunday - and it is key to the survival and prosperity of road haulage companies.

The McLaren race team got the very best from Hamilton and his car using telematics to plan, monitor and learn. In the same way, truck operators can use telematics to get the best from their trucks and their drivers.

Driver behaviour in terms of engine revving, braking, idling, as well as mpg; journey times and delays on the road and at customers; identification of serious cash savings. All these are readily available to even small fleets using low-cost telematics.

"The key is to install a simple but effective system and then to use the information it generates to save money and improve your service and profits. Any firm operating even a small number of trucks should be looking seriously at what telematics can do for its business," said RHA Director of Policy Jack Semple.

"Some firms have already placed telematics at the centre of their operation and are achieving new levels of performance. Increasingly, firms that do not embrace the concept risk becoming back markers," he said.

Royal Mail has picked up a crucial contract win with the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority (QCA) worth a whopping £19.5m. The job entails transporting approximately 960k packages of unmarked exam scripts fro 5,500 centres throughout England and then delivered to +- 50,000 examiners. Hopefully they can pass this test without a third strike...

The news couldn't have come at a better time for Royal Mail who are experiencing difficulties with existing clients like Amazon, eBay and the DVLA as a result of the of the impending industrial  action and fears over reliable service delivery -- especially now during the run-up to Christmas.

Teh QCA was looking for five bidders, but Royal Mail was the only one who submitted a propsal...naturally being the only company tendering they sealed teh deal. Good on them!

We'll bring you the full story tomorrow with all the juicy comment from the top execs.