Faun tractors, Marabou storks and dodgy cranes... It could only be another story from the Dark Continent on Biglorryblog!

Yes Biglorryblog's 'Good Man in Africa' Jerry Burley is back (and I've leap-frogged over his last e-mail to bring you this). Anyway fasten your seat belts. "Brian, Biology lesson first. That's a Marabou Stork. The ugliest bird alive. Designed by a committee made up of reforming crack addicts on cold turkey, who used the bits they rejected and threw in the bin by mistake. They can eat absolutely anything and what comes out of the other end, always at speed, proves this to be so. Get too close they've a big old peck on them too. Biology lesson over!"

Anyway what's this rather splendid beast? JB continues his tale: "Back to work now. Why Saturday? Why ALWAYS does it happen on a Saturday? The fruit of Allards last holiday with the cheque book in Dubai has hit the shores of the dark continent in Mombasa and fairly whistled its way up to the Uganda border."

And for once Customs, all by themselves, managed to identify it as a truck, without needing three days of explanation as to its likely purpose (Large Truck doesn't seem to have a separate definition, thankfully) so it finally arrived in Kampala today," Back tures look a bit worn JB... But I'll let you continue.

Which he does thus: "Saturday 4^th April 2009. At noon, which is dangerously close to Saturday elbow-bend time. Which fact I duly advised Allard of, and with whom I then left my camera for his further photographic immortalisation whilst I hoofed it off to stick to tradition and sample a beer flavoured cool drink."

"No trailer ramps again, so call for a crane this time. And the rest should have been easy. And so it was, one broken windscreen, one damaged wall and a hired 50T crane performing a unscheduled but major wheelie later."

Well you can imagine that nothing ever go smoothly for JB's merry men...

Indeed he says: "Note the chap taking fairly decisive evasive action from said gymnastics, and with a quick hurdle over the green plantain bananas he was gone. His mate seemed strangely less concerned. One day it will surely all just happen normally, as it should... Nah, don't be dim, no it won't."

Of course it might help if the crane driver could see through his windscreen... But back to JB: "Anyway, wheelies aside lets be thankful that said little Faun Tadano yard shunter actually landed on terra firma with no more than a slight twang from the springs. A touch of the key and it fired up and it now awaits the delivery of its estranged, outsized trailer, once the Actros and its step deck (note 3 of the 5 axles have been removed under the new Kenyan total axle number regs - the jury remains well and truly out on this decision) return to Mombasa and turn around with their next load."

"And yes indeed, for one performance only, that's Faun-icating Indiana Allard there hiding under the counterfeit sweaty Kookaburra, hanging off the side of the cab looking busy." Now click through here for more...