
Get me a crocodile sandwich... And make it snappy! And we'll be seeing more of this little fella in a short while. Yes this could only be another 'Only in Africa' story from Biglorryblog's 'Good Man in Africa' Jerry Burley who says: "Brian, you may wonder how oil companies around the globe decide just where to build pads when drilling for ye olde black golde."

JB continues: "Some say seismic is used, others allegedly use a naked witch with divining rods at midnight or similar, fiendishly clever, modern means. Well, we've come up with our own cunning, cutting-edge plan to save millions that we recon will work just fine."
"It goes something like this. Have a look around and about and find a bit of bush that no-one else seems interested in (can be difficult these days!). Make sure to take a photo to remind yourself of where you were - one bush can look very much like another (or so I'm told). Grade a bit of road through said bush to an otherwise arbitrary point."

"Then bring in some more expensive - but hopefully reusable - yellow kit on the back of once-famous British brands and other yankee trucks and scratch around in the dirt a bit, throw some sand and murram about here and there and hope it sticks and generally have mad dog fun in the midday sun."

"Next up dig a couple of holes and put a steel box in one and a swimming pool in two others - I'm not entirely sure why we need two pools but it seems to be the vogue currently."

"These can be seen from the shot taken by our recently-launched, budget home-made spy satellite. And then bring in a big boys meccano kit drill rig (on a platform I have never heard of - any guesses for a crocodile pie?)."
And here's a close up of that drilling rig... Quite an impressive bit of kit but who makes it?

"Drill a hole down a bit and hopefully your well-reasoned guesswork will reap dividends. Something like that and I'm absolutely convinced it will work and our share value in London and Kathmandu will rocket. Trust me, like a call girl in a darkened room with a Zen monk."

"Anyway, we gave Volrath and Taban (our soon-to-be-reformed-of-various-ongoing-woes Sudanese foreman, seen starring above with his best side forwards) a few days to do just this, and what you see here is what they achieved. If verily it doth not meet with thine approval, send any comments or criticisms to them, not me! It all went seemingly OK for once, apart from Volrath having to extricate the 320 excavator at high speed from one pit when it blew a hydraulic drive motor hose - the pit was, after all, having concrete poured into it at the time."

"Elf and Hasty would both probably disapprove of the method of pulling it out by its bucket via 950 wheeled loader (excuse the phone photo taken in to the sun) but then I equally disapprove of entombing our yellow kit in 1:2:5 mix!"

And here's a collection of JB's Only in Africa lorries... From Fodens to Tatas and old Bedford TMs... Now keep an eye on that big box below as it's kind of important to the story...

Now click through here for more drilling rig action... And oh yes that crocodile...