That's short for slow Toby. Though this is slightly unfair, as it was my vans fault and not Toby's that it came last in the timed lap trials.
How could it do any you ask? Simple - another jumpstart session. I was of course waiting for it to cut out any minute, but was not too concerned as we were off public roads. As well as timed laps, we also undertook and acceleration trial from 0 to 50mph on a very long stretch of road.
The Renault did not exactly set a new record; well.....it was in fact lucky to reach 50mph before the bloody runway ran out.
Time for a break. Of course while the other vans could be parked up and left to rest, mine had to sit there ticking over and causing another couple of millimetres of ozone to disappear. No problem!
Wait...what's that? A thin browny liquid leaking out of the engine bay at quite a rapid rate. I couldn't remember giving it a Vindaloo the night before. It was coolant - how annoying.
This prompted me to cut the engine so I could replace some of the water - dehydration can be very dangerous apparently.
Handbrake, noise and 'handling' tests.
Another jumpstart.....not this time. It became clear that the van's problem was more that just a flat battery. Charging it had no effect whatsoever. Colin's Cake Stud mobile happened to be fitted with a bulbar, which he subsequently used to push my Renault and get it started that way.
Like most other tests, it did very badly on the noise and handbrake section. But there was one positive: I got to punish the van for once! YES!!!!
A circular empty area of tarmac is good for only one thing - DOUGHNUTS!
That's right; we did doughnuts in our vans. Will and Colin did some stunning displays with their rear-wheel-drive machines, producing some good tyre smoke. My van is not cut out for rear wheel smoking, but it was a sight at full lock screeching round in circles. Mine was the only van utilising only three of its wheels, though I could not see that from within the sloping cab. God that felt good!
Testing over! What next? Sell it? Maybe not.....
Comments (2)
I hope you have learnt a very important lesson from this latest escapade of yours. The lesson being that you shouldn't buy knackered old vans from Pikies in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere late at night!!
Posted by Pegler | April 13, 2007 11:04 AM
Posted on April 13, 2007 11:04
I disagree Mr Pegler. I think that you should be applauded for buying knackered old vans from pikies in the middle of a field (its not going to be in a nice cul de sac or residential estate after all). The biggest flaw i can see in your strategy was buying a renault...we've all been there brother.
Posted by Angell | April 13, 2007 2:13 PM
Posted on April 13, 2007 14:13