Considering putting your commercial goods onto a barge? Perhaps you could go onto rail to shift your pallets? What about a putting your goods onto a donkey and walking it there? Better still, flying carpet?

Yes, the government floundering pursuit of 'alternative transport methods' continues with its announcement at Multimodal 2009 that money is available, up to 50%, for helping shift goods from the road to rail, water, pony trail or airwaves.

Hamid Tavassoly, head of freight grants at the DfT, says road transport companies need to "seriously consider" applying for government Freight Facilities Grants (FFG), which offer financial assistance to develop new rail or water freight handling facilities; £7m is available for England for 2009/10, increasing to £10m in 2010/11; £16m in 2011/12; £20m in 2012/13; and £25m in 2013/14.

You can't buy a boat, locomotive, wagon, pony or carpet under the scheme but you can have sidings, signalling, earthworks, cranes, warehousing, loading bays, storage yards, access roads, buildings, wharves, jetties, quays, stables and open door tents part funded.

Some things like bulk aggregates and cars are already moved by rail and ship, and rumour has it that Tesco ship wine by barge... Hard to imagine I know... But is this really the way forward?

Be sure to contact the FFG team on 020 7944 6848 or email FFG@dft.gsi.gov.uk once a suitable alternative method has been identified.